Bill Evans!
Welcome to the Kent Island Defense League Offical Web Site!

Bad Bill apologizes.

  I received the following email last weekend, a delayed response to a column I wrote back in May titled “Kicky Stevensville? ACK!” 

Dear Mr. Evans,

  I was disappointed to read your response to the Baltimore Sun article
published on May 5th, 2002.  I came across both the article and your
response while searching for information on Stevensville, my future home.
  As a resident of Annapolis, I am looking forward to raising a family in one
of the fine new communities being established.  However, your bitter
attitude toward 'yuppies' leaves me paused.
  I have met many residents of Stevensville and could not be more impressed
with regard to the quality of life they lead.  Unfortunately, I gather from
your brief, that 'your Kent Island' (ACK) is closed.  So please pardon while
we yuppies bring our educated families, six figure salaries and economic
engine to the community.  Whether you like it or not, we promise our best
efforts toward the stewardship of Stevensville.

Dear Mr. Future Kent Islander:

Geez, I’m sorry man. If I’d known I was going to “leave you paused” I might have toned that column down a bit. Pissed is one thing, but “paused?” That’s serious stuff! 

I might have overreacted when the Sun article characterized Kent Island as an “outpost of Annapolis” that is ”quaint and kicky” made up of “an eclectic mix of watermen, artists, corporate executives and suburbanites.” 

Actually, you and I probably have a lot in common. I too have a six-figure salary (if you don’t count the decimal). And education? Well, I don’t like to brag, but I once flunked out of Utica Tech, one of the nation’s most prestigious centers of higher learning.

Speaking of education, I don’t think I’d have used the term “stewardship” of Stevensville to describe what your “educated families” are going to be doing once you get over here. It’s highly unlikely, but somebody over here might know the meaning of the word and think you plan on “managing our affairs.” Just a thought, I know how touchy you are.

Also, I believe your suggestion that I have a “bitter attitude” toward yuppies may be a little harsh. “Amused to the point of nausea” would be closer to the truth. 

I’ve been thinking about how I can make it up to you and I have an idea.

After you get over here and have settled into one of the fine new communities being established on Kent Island, I’d like to invite you to meet a few eclectic waterman friends of mine; Bobo, Bunky, T.J., Henry, Harry Jack, Bruce, yes, especially Bruce.

We’ll all meet down at No Place, knock back a few spritzers, and you can tell them about your six-figure salary and your educated family. They’ll be very, very impressed. And don’t forget to mention how “quaint” you think they are. I can promise you that the occasion will be (How should I put this?) … memorable. Yes, very memorable. 

One caution, though. Don’t show them your “economic engine.” We’ve got laws against that kind of stuff over here.

Sincerely, 

Your new Eastern Shore buddy,

Bill Evans 

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© 2000 - 2002 Bill Evans.  Used By Permission.  All Rights Reserved.
Two Cents Worth columns appear weekly in the Bay Times in spite of the editor’s usual good taste and judgment.


kidl@atlanticbb.net

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